Since you have elected to read an article about tantrums in 3 year olds, there’s a strong probability that you are dealing with something of a crisis. From birth, children learn how to manipulate other people. Some are more manipulative than others, but to some degree, each of us does it. Healthy social relationships include intentionally modifying our own speech and / or behavior to achieve desired results. Tantrums in 3 year olds amount to manifestations of normal development – gone wrong!
If you are dealing with tantrums in 3 year olds, you should immediately face this fact: the problem will not go away on its own! Any parent or care-giver faced with tantrums in 3 year olds should immediately and pro-actively begin to resolve the problem. The term “pro-actively” means that you don’t wait for the problem to manifest, and then try to deal with it. Rather, make a plan which will lead toward resolution of the problem, and immediately initiate the plan.
Take control – end Tantrums in 3 year olds
A good starting point is to ask – and correctly answer – the question, “Who’s in charge here?” Be honest, now – if the child is accustomed to “having his way” by throwing tantrums, then the child is in charge! You won’t resolve the problem until you first recognize it. Face reality – tell it like it is, then plan to change the situation. Understand that no child will “grow out of” a behavior problem, unless something changes in the environment. Initiate change, and put an end to tantrums in 3 year olds.
• Step 1, (addressed above) – tell it like it is. Accurately identify the problem.
• Plan your responses. Above all, resolve that tantrums in 3 year olds will never be rewarded with the child receiving what he / she demands – even if the demand is for something which you had already intended to do.
• Explain the change to the child. Don’t expect your explanation to result in any immediate behavioral change – you’ll have to prove your point – but by the time a child is 3 years old, he / she can comprehend what you say. Tell the child that tantrums will never achieve the desired result, and will always result in negative consequences.
• Do exactly what you said. Plan a suitable negative consequence, and always apply it!
Self control – the first step in ending tantrums in 3 year olds
A major component of putting an end to tantrums in 3 year olds is facing the up to the fact that adults have been allowing the child’s behavior to control them. If you are to end that process, you must resist the urge to give in to the child’s desires and demands. If you love your child, you naturally want to do nice things for him / her, and you naturally hate to cause pain / discomfort.
These urges are good and positive, but it’s important that you keep the goal in mind. If you fail to break bad habits and replace them with good ones, you are contributing to a problem which will plague your child for life. Ending tantrums in 3 year olds is crucial to your child’s future. Your own self control is a vital component of that process.
Loving relationships – key to ending tantrums in 3 year olds
Be careful that you don’t develop a hostile attitude. Reward proper, polite requests whenever doing so is safe, reasonable, and appropriate. Look for opportunities to express love and affection to the child. Offer small treats / rewards – and plenty of hugs and kisses – for good behavior.
If you are in the act of giving him / her a treat, and the child demands that treat – stop. Remind the child to ask politely. If he / she refuses, put the treat away. Never – not even one time – should you comply with harsh, ugly, or inconsiderate demands. On the other hand, keep in mind that dealing with tantrums in 3 year olds can quickly escalate to a generally hostile, adversarial relationship. Tantrums in 3 year olds tend to poison the parent / child relationship. Don’t lose sight of the fact that only loving relationships are healthy ones.
When your child learns to properly give and receive love, the tendency toward tantrums in 3 year olds will be replaced by happy, healthy, loving relationships. Removing tantrums in 3 year olds should be the ultimate goal of any loving parent.
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